who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
