a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
ttyl tear gas
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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