I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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