so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
