margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I fill condoms, not promises.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
