She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
