Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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