it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
