I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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