I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
