Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
