dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
