Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
