Midget sex pt 2 tonight
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
