God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
