If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
