apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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