I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
