He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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