I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
