Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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