I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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