I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
