Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
