my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
