I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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