if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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