I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
