He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
