I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
