i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
