i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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