We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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