Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
