i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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