Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Michael Bay diarrhea
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
