Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
