listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
