That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
