So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
