you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
