i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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