You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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