i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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