5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
