I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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