i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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