yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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