as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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