we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
